Posted by Craig

3 Useless Android Apps for Rich People

Useless Expensive Apps

Some rich people will do strange things to demonstrate their wealth. In South Africa, for example, rich youth cultures show off their good financial fortune by buying the most expensive bottle of alcohol in a bar and having the bartender pour it out in front of the other patrons. Sometimes, they cut out the middle man and just set their cash on fire.

The Google Play store offers its wealthy users similar shows of riches beyond measure in the form of totally useless apps. It’s not as flashy as burning your money, but the effect is the same.

100 Dollar App ($111.05)

The 100 Dollar App, which costs more than $100, is the last in the MyWealth Society series of apps. Boasting an impressive “1+ downloads” in the Google Play Store, it places an icon on your home screen that lets everyone see that you’re baller enough to have purchased something just because you can. Your name also goes on a list. As it should.

100 dollar app

But wait, there’s more! If you buy all four of the MyWealth apps, ranging from Blue status for $8 all the way to Gold for $100, you can be invited to join the exclusive ranks of those high rollers who have Black status. Sorry, plebeians, but this particular circle isn’t available on the market. It’s invite only for the truly rich and powerful.

I’m RICH!!! ($200.00)

IM Rich

There are dozens of variations of the “I’m Rich” app available for purchase, ranging from $75 on up to $200. Of the $200 versions, most of them let you put a little diamond on your home screen to show people just how few damns you give about frugality.

This app, with at least one download and even a review to its name, takes things to a whole new level. Instead of a diamond, you get… Jack Nicholson as The Joker. So, basically, the game has changed.

It looks you may be able to make him say stuff, but you can’t find out until you buy the app. The correlation between The Joker and an extreme display of frivolity is unclear, but maybe it has to do with insanity. Probably.

Vuvuzela ($200.00)

vuvuzela

If you’re a FIFA fan (or even if you’re not) who wipes your behind with $100 bills and happen to be in the market for a way to be more annoying to the general public, look no further. Your Android device can double as a $200 air horn.

Even though there are tons of free options, this one has over 50 downloads. Maybe that means it’s as loud as it is expensive. It has one disgruntled review at the Google Play Store from a user who apparently expected more. So, just to be clear, this app doesn’t cause glitter to shoot out of your device or announce that you’re richer than everyone else around you. If that’s a deal breaker, you may need to have your air horn needs met elsewhere.